Letting Go to Move Forward

2024 had its highs and lows, but it’s time to move forward. In this episode, I reflect on the fears I’m leaving behind, the habits I’m building, and how I’m preparing to embrace all the possibilities 2025 has to offer. 

Transcript

Happy day, my fellow wanderers. Welcome to Wander Off Course. I'm your host, Eli Hartman, and wow, happy 2025! It's kind of crazy and hard to believe that we are already here in 2025, but I was forced to write the date officially the other day when I went to work, and I don't know if anybody else stumbled a little bit on it, but I certainly did.

It really took a conscientious effort to remember to write 2025. So, Happy New Year! Here we are, a whole new year, a whole new you, right? That's typically how the saying goes. And there's a lot of pressure in that. I don't know if anybody else is feeling the pressure, but I certainly am. And I don't want to.

I think every other year, I have put this pressure on myself: New year, new you. And by the end of the year, I don't necessarily feel like a new me. So this year, in 2025, I want to be a little different. I want to take time to just sit and breathe in all of 2024, reflect back on it, and all of the things that it held—good, bad, and otherwise. 2024, for me...

I wouldn't say it was a great year, and I think this is the first time I've said that out loud. 2024 really wouldn't go down in my history books as a great year. It was a tough year for me mentally and emotionally on several levels. And don't get me wrong, there was a lot of good in 2024 as well.

I have so many good memories. My family came out to visit me and see my partner and I’s place and property for the first time, which was really special. Uh, we got to take some cool adventures, and 2024 had its good moments, too. But overall, I'm not ending 2024 with a feeling of sadness because it was such a good year.

And I'm simultaneously not leaving 2024 with a level of excitement because it was terrible. I'm kind of in this middle ground, limbo, where I'm recognizing the good and the bad that this last year held for me. And I think that's really important to be able to do, especially as we're just starting a new year. Don't be so hasty to say goodbye.

I think our lives, the things that we go through in any given year, deserve a little bit of respect in that moment of silence to reflect on it all instead of just kissing it goodbye. Don't reflect too heavily on the bad other than to learn from it and try not to repeat the same mistakes in the next year, but our good memories, the good times, deserve...

Gosh, so much remembrance. All the things that we experienced in the last year shaped us in one way, shape, or form into a different person that we're going to be in 2025. At least that's how I want to view it. I want to take all the good and the bad from 2024 and the ways that it changed me, and let it continue to work within me and grow me into an even better version of myself than I can fathom right now in this next year.

I asked my partner on January 1st, when we woke up, "What are some things that you want to leave behind in 2024?" And she had some really good answers. Decluttering, I think, was her number one answer. She wants to leave the clutter behind in 2024. And I'm right there with her on that. I certainly want to leave the clutter behind in 2024 as well.

But when she asked me the question in return, I said that I wanted to leave behind the fear of confrontation and the unhealthy desire or need to people-please. Those are two things that are highlighted in my mind right now as things within myself that I want to work on. I am naturally a people-pleaser.

I always have been, my entire life. It's part of who I am and my personality, and it can be good. People-pleasing, in a way, can be a good thing. But our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses, and it can be taken to a very unhealthy level that's not good for me or those around me. It can really enable those people around us sometimes, and I want to leave that behind—not completely, but I want to leave the unhealthy aspect of it behind in 2024.

I'm not trying to deny my natural instincts and who I am as an individual, as a human being. People-pleasing, caring... and it's not even necessarily people-pleasing, but caring about people on a deep level is at my core. That is a cornerstone of who I am. And so I don't want to leave that behind.

I'm not trying to destroy the cornerstone of my personal foundations here, but I want to be aware of it and not let it get to an unhealthy level throughout 2025. And as far as fear of confrontation—because I'm a people-pleaser, I also really despise conflict, to the point of avoiding it at all costs.

Whatever I have to do to keep the peace, I will do it. And that is very unhealthy. Not only is that shorting myself, denying my thoughts and feelings, and hindering my ability to express them, but it is also doing a disservice to those I love around me. How can I be a good partner if I'm just constantly agreeing with everything my partner thinks or feels when I might not be feeling that same way?

That's not a recipe for a healthy relationship, and I want an even healthier relationship in 2025 than I have had up until this point. And so much of that starts internally with myself. So, welcome 2025. Here’s to kissing goodbye to some of the flaws within myself to be a better person and a better partner.

Here’s to not seeking out confrontation, but not shutting myself down when confrontation arises. And here’s to people-pleasing within reason, where I’m not enabling others and sacrificing any parts of myself by appeasing anybody around me.

What are some things that you guys—y’all, my listeners—want to leave behind in 2024? And if you feel open to sharing the reasons behind why you want to leave these things behind, please share. I’d love to hear that and see what else people want to carry into 2025 and what they don’t. The year is different for everybody. 2024 was different for everybody. This next year is also going to be different for everybody.

And I am all about encouraging people to share. I want to be a sharer and be vulnerable in that sense to anybody and everybody. And I want to encourage other people to do the same. This is how we get to know people better. And I want to get to know each and every one of you as my listeners. And I want you to get to know me. We are forming a relationship here, in a sense. I get to share my life and my thoughts openly with you, and I’d like to get to know you too.

Make it a little bit of a two-way street.

Oh, man. But in 2025, it’s a big year. So, we have a new president taking office on January 20th, and whoo, what an election year 2024 was. My goodness. Uh, I’m not even sure where to get started with that, but it’s been heavy on my brain. So I want to put it out here for the world. I believe in getting things out. Things that are weighing on us inside should come out in a constructive way, hopefully.

So, I am going to share with y’all my opinions on the 2024 presidential election campaigns. And a lot of people would probably not like to listen to this one, and some of you might. I don’t know. But it was a really tough election for me as an individual. I was very disappointed in our candidates. Does anybody else feel that way? I was looking at the candidates, and obviously we’re in a two-party system. No matter what anybody tries to say, we are in a two-party system, and the two candidates—Donald Trump and Kamala Harris—I was thoroughly disappointed in both of them.

Truthfully, call it a wasted vote if you want to, but I could not, in good conscience, vote for either one of them. I couldn’t vote for Donald Trump because of my moral standings, what I want this world and my country and the people in it to experience and have the freedoms to be able to live their lives.

I just... I couldn’t on a moral level and on an economical and business level. I couldn’t vote for Harris either because I saw no plan. Sadly, she missed an opportunity to make a name for herself and create a voice during Biden’s presidency, and I think that really shot her in the foot. Honestly, with her 2024 campaign, I almost feel bad for her in a sense because she wasn’t probably planning to run for president.

I didn’t get that vibe or drift at all. And then when Biden was basically kicked out of the running after, gosh, his and Trump’s terrible debate, Kamala got thrown into it. And, uh, she just was not prepared. Now, she had some backing because of a vast portion of the population that didn’t want to see Trump in office again. And I can’t fault anybody for that there.

Man, guys, why? Why are we just accepting the scraps for presidents that are thrown out to us? And I mean, no offense to anybody, but the country was ran pretty terribly under Biden. The hatred that came out in people across the nation under Trump’s last campaign or presidency was absolutely horrendous.

So why are we getting second rounds? Why are we sticking to this two-party system? Where is fresh blood? Why can't we get fresh, new brains, people, and perspectives into the White House? Y'all, this isn’t just any place. This is a country we’re talking about. This is all of our livelihoods, and we are just sitting back, accepting whatever the political parties choose to give us as options.

And honestly, that’s extremely disappointing and saddening to me—that we’re not given better, but that we’re also not demanding better. Truthfully, I was really excited when Kennedy Jr. was running as an independent candidate. I, for one, cannot wait for an independent or third-party candidate to get into office.

I truly, deeply believe that’s what our country needs. But man, when he dropped out of the running, that was sad. I think he had a real shot and could have done a lot of good, offering a lot of fresh perspective to our country, our nation, and the White House. Sadly, that wasn’t in the cards this year. So, for better or worse, Mr. Donald Trump is going to be inaugurated into the presidential office again. And I’m very curious to see what happens in the next several years—especially right as he takes office.

We’ve all heard about, oh, what is it, chapter 25 or something like that? Personally, I haven’t read it—certainly not all the way through. I’ve read snippets here and there. So, it will be very interesting. I’m scared in so many ways, and I think a lot of people are. A lot of people are very, very excited as well, and I get that too. It’s been rough. Economically, the prices of groceries, housing, and everything that we all rely on day to day have been so hard.

It’s been so difficult in these last several years. I’m struggling, as many, many people are, to make ends meet day to day. I don’t know how my next bill is going to get paid. I’m living paycheck to paycheck, and every paycheck isn’t enough. I think there are so many of you out there who can relate to me on that, and I’m really hoping that changes—that Donald Trump is able to help the economy in some way, shape, or form.

And gosh, I think at this point, it’s going to take a fricking miracle to get our economy back up to any sort of anything. But, I’m also scared because I remember the hate that was going around in the last campaign. And I don’t know if any of y’all saw the news after the election, but there were groups of neo-Nazis walking down the streets in a couple of areas, protesting outside of the Anne Frank play. I’m not sure where those were located at this point, but those were scary to see. And that’s what I remember a lot from Trump’s last stint in office.

I’m really worried about that again. I know our illegal aliens and people crossing the border—gosh, that needs so much help and attention—but I remember the extreme it went to under Trump’s last term, and that was terrifying. It reminded me of the Holocaust in so many ways, with Jews being hunted down and kicked out. Illegal aliens and foreign immigrants were basically being hunted down in the exact same manner and being deported. That wasn’t right.

What’s happening right now—the ease of people getting across the border—that’s not right either. And sadly, I don’t see that changing until we get some fresh perspective in office. So, I’m approaching this year and this new president and office with eyes of curiosity, trying not to let the fears get in the way.

I know after the election, when the results were shown that Trump won, I saw a lot of posts from people on social media talking about leaving the country. It was like, “This is a sign, I’m going to leave.” And I know people personally who are terrified for their lives and their livelihood, especially members of the LGBTQ community, people of color, and foreigners. I can’t blame a single one of them. You know, I’m scared too, for my own reasons, but I’m not going to let that fear dictate my actions.

I don’t believe that much good comes when we act out of fear. We have to act out of courage and hope for better changes, better policies, and better people in office. And we need to step up to that plate in a different way. And for me, that’s not leaving this country. For some people, it might be, and I can’t fault them for that one bit.

But for me, that’s not it. So, I approach these next four years with eyes of curiosity, but awareness—paying close attention to the news, not just mainstream news, but local-level news, public radio, things like that. I want to find the truth of what’s going on out there, not just play a part in the magic show of “Hey, look over here, this is going on,” when there are so many other equally important things happening that we should be aware of.

So, I’m paying closer attention to the news and looking for ways to better support my community, promoting love and not hate. No matter who you are, what you’ve got going on, the struggles you’re facing, or any fears you have with Trump getting sworn into office and what that will look like—you’re not alone.

I want the best for everyone. I want peace in our country and the world. I want love and kindness to be shared and shown all the time, even when we’re having bad days. And I guess, truthfully, that’s why I couldn’t get behind Trump on a moral level. Because I don’t view him as a kind human. There’s nothing I’ve seen that has demonstrated a heart of kindness or love from him. Not to say that he’s not—he very well might be—but that has just not been shown to me on a level that I need.

I’ve seen him make fun of handicapped people, LGBTQ people, people of different nationalities, races, and colors. And to me, that screams hate and intolerance—things I just can’t get behind personally. I hold such respect and reverence for the presidential office. Whoever’s in there is leading a country, and to me, that has to be somebody with a heart—a heart for the people.

The country is land—it’s the people that make up what the country is, good, bad, or otherwise. And that starts with the leadership, from the top down. So, if we are electing people into office who show hatred, what can we do but expect to see that trickle down through the rest of our nation?

But I think if we have somebody in office who really, truly cares for the people of their nation—gosh, the difference! The interactions we would see on a day-to-day level would be so different in a positive way.

So, I’m hoping. You know, I’m always keeping the hope alive because, wow, we are living in an ever-changing world—it literally changes every single day. Our lives do, we as individuals do, our nation as a whole does. And you know, miracles happen. I am not very religious, but I do believe in God. I believe in miracles, and I know that God can change anybody at any time—from being the worst human alive to being an amazing human who cares.

So, I’ll pray that all the time for each and every one of us, myself, Donald Trump, and anyone else in office who’s governing our nation. I pray that God works wonders in their hearts and gives them direction on how to lead us in this country, because man, we need it. Something’s gotta break. Something’s gotta change.

And as we, as a people, yo, we’ve gotta start demanding better or something. Because if, next election, we have piss-poor candidates again—guys, I might leave the country. Because that’s just...we deserve better. We, as human beings, as residents and citizens of this country, deserve better. Do you know what’s funny about that?

In life, whether it’s in our relationships with significant others, family, friends, coworkers, or in our jobs—we set the tone. We get to set the stage of what is acceptable and what’s not. We get to tell people what we deserve and hold those people to those standards. So, why not do it with the president, with the political parties? Guys, please, let’s stop playing into the two-party system, because it’s obviously not getting us anywhere good. We’re going in circles. Nobody’s making real, impactful, significant changes to better our country. We are literally running in circles because the Democratic Party comes in and tries to undo everything the Republican Party put into effect, and then the Republican Party comes back into office and does the same thing.

We are in this vicious cycle that’s getting us absolutely nowhere. We’ve got to demand better. I’m not sure how we demand better yet, but I know, as a country, if we can join forces—it all starts with one voice. And as more and more voices join, it gets louder and louder. It turns into a roar.

And y’all, we can do that. We can come together and demand better. So, why don’t we? Let’s do it. Whatever your better may be—whether it’s the president who’s in office, the candidates we’re offered to elect, or in our day-to-day lives, in what we see in our communities—we can demand better.

We can stand up and say, “This is not acceptable.” So, what is not acceptable to you? What are you leaving behind in 2024? What are you excited about for 2025? What do you see going on around you that you want to be better, to be different? And what are you doing to help make that happen?

I think in 2025, it’s an open palette. We get to make this year, and our lives, and the world around us what we want in so many aspects. So, what do you want this to look like? What do you want 2025 to look like? What do you want the next four years to look like, as far as the country goes? And what do you want your day-to-day life to look like?

Is that a job change? A location change? I don’t know. It could be anything. I’m all about thought-provoking questions, and I hope this episode has given you some things to think about and consider. And I would really love to hear from any of you what your opinions are. Where do you want this world, this country to go? Where do you want your individual life to go? Let’s set the stage, let’s set the standard, and be better. Let’s demand better for ourselves, our loved ones, and those around us. And let’s do what we can to make that happen.

So, ultimately, go out there and be kind. Let’s share some love today and bless those around us with kindness.